ST MAARTEN. . . Forever a special place to me and others.

First I would like to say, I will not have anymore detail on my trip across country. Call me for that. New stuff is here now! Im married!

Check out pics and videos updated semi-weekly here at: www.emilymellor.com/Wedding2007/main.html click on guest book.

Here is an excerpt from paul's blog, Hard to put into words but he does a great job trying.

...but i'll give it my best shot.

48 hours ago, I was boarding a plane leaving St. Maarten. I'm exhausted. I'm sore. I'm burned. I have sand in places I never thought i'd have sand. And I'm rockin' the perma-grin like nobody's business.

What an amazing experience. And if you happen to talk to El, tell him congrats!

To clarify, it wasn't just about the place. Don't get me wrong: St. Maarten is absolutely beautiful. But you know how when you're with the right group of people, any place instantly becomes better? This was a textbook example.

Perhaps you could describe this vacation as a perfect storm of awesomeness (for lack of a better term): spending time with old friends while making new ones in a such a perfect setting...easily one of the best experiences of my life thus far. That's not to say that there aren't better times ahead, but I certainly want to do my best to remember as much as possible of this one.

In the coming days and weeks, I hope to post as much detail as I can recollect in an attempt not only to communicate amazing of an experience this was, but in a (selfish) attempt to help myself remember as much as I can of these 6 days. I spent much of the plane ride home scribbling onto a notepad any stories...any triggers I could think of...and many of those will make their way onto here. Pictures, videos, and streams of consciousness the likes of which few have experienced are not out of the question. :)

(Quick tangent: The girl sitting next to me on the plane ride home didn't appear to speak a lick of English, but the look in her eyes when I glanced up from my 2+ hours of scribbling said it all: THIS GUY'S GONNA BLOW UP THE PLANE. haha.)

I digress.

Before I get back to work, i'd like to preface the next couple entries by saying that there's no way I could possibly explain to you every detail of this trip. It was pure craziness, and I wish I could go back and do it all over again...

Here goes nothing...

Chicago to Omaha

This was an interesting trip for three reasons. One, we were leaving in the morning after sleeping. Two, were only driving about 7 hours vs the 12 on the first leg. And three, we were stopping midway to visit my friend Hassan and his family who were in demoines Iowa, right of I80. All these made this trip really short.

Took this pic for my Dad, he used to drive trucks across country years ago, and im sure he remembers this stop:



Once we got to demoines we realized something. It is the most countriest city we have ever seen. The downtown was completly empty on a saturday afternoon. Stores were closed and it was like a ghost town. People there were REALLY nice.

Out front of Hassan's in laws, house on right, cost you about 30k to buy!



Apparently in Iowa, the mexicans enjoy them some rabbit. So this little girl has a temporary pet. One day while at school that rabbit is gonna become rabbit stew lol.




Right before we left we ate lunch from a place that has won best burgers in town 16 years in a row.



We left desmoines and headed to omaha. Started getting low on gas, and it was dark so we got off the highway, and drove around following signs. Found it, now we are 20 mins from hotel. Anyone who ever drives out west, if you dont think you can drive more than a hour on gas, then fill up. because some stretches are looooooooooooooooooooong, with no guess stations around.


And here is proof that almost halfway through the trip emily was still having fun:

Newark Delaware to Chicago Illinois

As I said we left late Thursday nite. This was the plan. If we drive far on the first leg we will be far enough out to really feel like we are doing this! I hoped to have napped, but didnt get to, so when we left at 11 I was tired by 12 lol. Hit some traffic near construction in baltimore, and I was thinking I will just pull over at the next rest stop and take a nap. Of course emily was sleep b4 we even left the condo parking lot.

I pull into a rest stop use the bathroom, and get back in the car. Funny how getting up and walking around gave me energy, I had another hour in me, so I kept going, then emily had to use the bathroom, so I pulled over a hour later, and grabbed a case of Red Bull. That gave me alll the caffine I needed to drive til 4am.

At 4am Emily wakes up and is like, "hey i can drive". So I QUICKLY pull off at the next exit to take advantage before she goes back to sleep. Thanks to Freddy, I have Navigation so she can follow that while i napped. I slept a nice good HARD 2 hours. Woke up, and felt great, I asked if she was ok, she said, im getting tired again, I said no problem, so i took the wheel again at 630am. We stopped had breakfast in ohio at 630 before I took over. leaving I was feeling good, only 6 more hours til Chicago. We leave the rest stop, and as I accelerate out, there is a cop in the median. I look at my speed, and im doing 80, oops. He backs up, because he is facign the other traffic, and he pulls me over. He was straight forward, not nice, not a jerk(or maybe), but he gave me the ticket, i said yea yea, cya. I always wonder if you pull off fast, if they will get you again, but i didnt test it ;)



So we reach chicago, and sleep from noon to 4 or so, we gained an hour which was good. Woke up went to the gym/swimming, then went out on the town for a stroll and found some mexican spot for dinner, which was across the street from the silliest Mcdonalds I have ever seen.

Coast to Coast

Thursday May 10th, Em and I left our condo in Delaware at 11 pm, California or Bust style. I will give more detail and later blogs, but to sum up the trip, it was great. If you have time to do it, it is a pretty peaceful adventure. And if you do it with your partner, you will find out things you didnt know about them.(especially if they buy books prior to the trip titled, "Do you know your bride" and of course "Do you know your groom")

I learned that Emily is more white than I thought. She knew words to songs that I never knew existed! Ok that was a joke, but this trip showed how diverse we both were. We listen to any kind of music you can think of, on Sirius radios 170+ Channels. We danced and sang and did all the stupid stuff on could do in a Volkswagen GTI.

Long story short we made it, I will follow up with some pics and more details.

LIFE CHANGES

Life changes, the world, and the people in it. Things are never set in stone, they just appear to be. This article is about my decision to move to San Francisco. I kept things secret for quite a while, since I needed to be alone in my thoughts on such a big move.

One year ago today, if someone asked me, would I move to California, id say heck no. Delaware is as far as I could stand to be away from my family and friends. My view on the world was, life is about family, and being close to those you love and that should never be sacrificed. Today my view is much different.

My view is one that says, life is short, do all the things that make you happy. You may die tonight. Some people may not be able to do all the things that make them happy. And if you ever see that you can, take advantage because you may not later.

Many people ask me, how can I go from one view of the LIFE and make such a drastic change in your disposition. I’ve been trying to explain things to people in a way that shows how happy it would make me. Some people understand that, and others don’t. I’ve gotten everything from, that’s awesome! To why would you want to do that? How does leaving everything behind make you happy.

The experiences I have had over the last year have combined with past experiences to create a new outlook on life. This is how the same person who said he loved his car, and his hometown of NJ, so much he would never give them up, got rid of his car, and is taking a journey out west. I have figured out it is sometimes impossible to explain your logic and reasoning to those who have not had your experiences. For example, here is one of my world famous dog analogies.

If everyone were to get bit by a dog every time they went down X street, I would not go down X street. Also, it would be nearly impossibly for someone to explain that it is ok to go down X street. No matter what they say, I’m not going to understand.

Say one day I accidentally go down that street, and I see that dog, and it doesn’t bite me, because I give it a treat. So now it’s my friend, and everyday I walk the street and give it a treat.

That is my best analogy of how experiences can change someone. A person can say I’d never do X, well never is not always true. New information, should impact determining new opinions and beliefs.

I started a new job in July of 2006 for Symbiosys. This job changed my life. Broadened my skills as an IT Consultant, and also allowed me to travel and see places I otherwise never would have.

-Detroit, cool place, the city isn’t great but I still had that nice feeling of a place away from home, but was ready to leave when it was time.

-Minneapolis/St Paul, great place, clean and not over populated. Ate some good food, good times.

-Next Charlotte, here is the first place I went and really had that feeling of being away from home could be a cool experience. Still didn’t see it happening here it was just a thought.

-Next London, had a great time, but living in another country never crossed my mine, but I def could visit the UK for a month or so.

-Next Miami, this trip was life changing. Something about going out there when it’s snowing up north and its 79 down there was very fascinating. I had the best time out of all the visits, and actually was looking into ways to move down there. Also a good friend from college lives down there, and seeing him living down there all alone, made me think. I talked to him about how he kept in touch and stuff like that, and really saw that as something I could do. That died once I got back and reality set in.

- Then there was San Francisco, I had a great time obviously. I was sitting there at the end of my trip thinking, I really want to live here. I don’t know what it was, but it felt like everything I wanted at this time of my life. I talked to my boss, who lives out there, he said hey come on out, we can find you work, if not; leave us there is plenty of companies out here. I took that to heart. So I started to weigh my thoughts on, if this place was right for me, and if it made sense, and it did on so many levels.

Since I’m getting married in June, I figured I would give my boss sometime to find work. I didn’t want to make any moves before then; also I wanted to see if I still felt that way after coming home and back to my normal life. We talked about it a few times, in the first few weeks after my trip. Out of curiosity, I begin looking at neighborhoods; I could potentially live in. I found a few, but the prices for apts were SKY HIGH. That led me to looking for jobs that are paying enough to afford to live out there. I found three that were ideal, but I didn’t really think I had a chance for. I sent emails, not even resumes, then one asked for resume, and I sent it.

Next day he setup a phone convo. Then he setup another phone convo. Then he wrote me an email saying they really liked me, and that they would let me know in a few days if they want me to fly out for an interview in person. Right now im like WOW, this is all happening way faster than I expected. At this point I told my boss, and he said fly out there, and they will interview you. So I did.

So, I’m really nervous. Not because I’m afraid to get the job, but im thinking that’s A LOT of money to spend on a flight, for a job you may not get! I decided my boss was right, and took the flight out. I refused to tell anyone of this, my parents included. I am grown, and I make my own decisions. I know that they would not understand, and would try to talk me out of it, and possibly talk me out of something I really wanted to do, and I would resent them for that later, same goes with close friends.

Also, I didn’t want the pressure of all my family/friends knowing I was on a flight to Cali, for an interview, and have to deal with it, if I didn’t get the job. Id already be crushed, and retelling it to 20 people would be too much.

So I head to SF. I get there and instantly the nervousness is gone. I feel like it’s exactly where I want to be. And my attitude is I will find a place to stay, and workout so if I don’t get this job, I can at least already know that. And that I did. I go into the interview and me and the guy click and he really likes me, I head back to the east coast and now play the waiting game.

At this point my thoughts are, if I don’t get the job, have a talk with my family/friends about what I plan to do in the next 6 months. If I do get the job, then I have to give the shocking news as is.

I am supposed to hear something on Monday, and I don’t. The guy is not in, and also, SF is 3 hours behind, so I feel like the wait is extra long. Im checking my phone and email every .32 seconds in anticipation. Then I get the news late Tuesday night, I got the job!

I immediately call my parents, convo goes like this.

Me: mom, hey I gotta tell yall some good news, put me one speaker phone

Mom dad: ok what is it !?

Me: When I went to SF last week, it wasn’t for work, it was for an interview, and I got the job!

Mom: Hows that good news!??!

Dad: ….

It took them 5, 10 mins to take it in, then it turned to we are proud of you. At this point I understood my shocking message had a stronger affect than I knew. Emily told her parents we were moving and they were nothing but excited. But once again, different experiences, different views.

Next morning, I let the rest of my world know. Reactions varied from WOW, that’s amazing, to how you gonna just leave like that? I attempted to explain to people, why, and I realized I can’t. People that don’t understand, won’t understand, because they look at life different.

As I said, a year ago, I felt the same way, so I realized I had to dig deeper to figure out how I would explain this to Elliott of last year. And no matter how I would have explained it, it wouldn’t make sense to him.

Life as I see it is about experiencing different things. Family and friends are extremely important, however I don’t think living close to someone makes you more of a friend, or shows love more than being away. If anything, you take for granted that relationship. How many times do you hug the people you see everyday, or every weekend. You eventually fall into a zone where you just expect them to be there, and stop learning about them. People that I don’t see but 3 -4 times a year, are just a strong of friends as people I see everyday. Why is that, I don’t know. The internet probably helps.

I have always wanted to live in a city. I have always wanted to work in a city. In a week me and Emily will be driving across country, so that I can do both.

Dunkin Doe Nuts

Short Story.

I walk into dunkin donuts for a quick bagel. Thats all i want or need. I say, "Cinnamon Rasin bagel, toasted" He says, "Coffee?" I say no thanks, he say, "Are you sure???" As if I didnt know that i really DID want coffee deep down inside, but i realize they just wanted a bigger sale, I simply said, yes im sure, no coffee.


Then he makes the bagel, another lady comes up. "One Bagel? No Coffee???", "I say no just the bagel" She says. . . "Thats noooo gooood", At this point i say to myself, Should I take road A or road B? Road A is a simple humoring ploy. Something like, "hehehe, maybe tomorrow hehe" While Road B is like "If anyone else in this place ask me if i want coffee again, matter fact if i even HEAR the word coffee, no no, matter of fact Turn off all the coffee pots RIGHT NOW, before i come back there! NOBODY WILL HAVE COFFEE TODAY!"


I chose Road A. But if this happens next time, I might get locked up.

Why Blog?

I am not sure why I created this blog. It is my first blog. I guess I need a way to say random things that are on my mind. Stay Tuned. . .