LIFE CHANGES

Life changes, the world, and the people in it. Things are never set in stone, they just appear to be. This article is about my decision to move to San Francisco. I kept things secret for quite a while, since I needed to be alone in my thoughts on such a big move.

One year ago today, if someone asked me, would I move to California, id say heck no. Delaware is as far as I could stand to be away from my family and friends. My view on the world was, life is about family, and being close to those you love and that should never be sacrificed. Today my view is much different.

My view is one that says, life is short, do all the things that make you happy. You may die tonight. Some people may not be able to do all the things that make them happy. And if you ever see that you can, take advantage because you may not later.

Many people ask me, how can I go from one view of the LIFE and make such a drastic change in your disposition. I’ve been trying to explain things to people in a way that shows how happy it would make me. Some people understand that, and others don’t. I’ve gotten everything from, that’s awesome! To why would you want to do that? How does leaving everything behind make you happy.

The experiences I have had over the last year have combined with past experiences to create a new outlook on life. This is how the same person who said he loved his car, and his hometown of NJ, so much he would never give them up, got rid of his car, and is taking a journey out west. I have figured out it is sometimes impossible to explain your logic and reasoning to those who have not had your experiences. For example, here is one of my world famous dog analogies.

If everyone were to get bit by a dog every time they went down X street, I would not go down X street. Also, it would be nearly impossibly for someone to explain that it is ok to go down X street. No matter what they say, I’m not going to understand.

Say one day I accidentally go down that street, and I see that dog, and it doesn’t bite me, because I give it a treat. So now it’s my friend, and everyday I walk the street and give it a treat.

That is my best analogy of how experiences can change someone. A person can say I’d never do X, well never is not always true. New information, should impact determining new opinions and beliefs.

I started a new job in July of 2006 for Symbiosys. This job changed my life. Broadened my skills as an IT Consultant, and also allowed me to travel and see places I otherwise never would have.

-Detroit, cool place, the city isn’t great but I still had that nice feeling of a place away from home, but was ready to leave when it was time.

-Minneapolis/St Paul, great place, clean and not over populated. Ate some good food, good times.

-Next Charlotte, here is the first place I went and really had that feeling of being away from home could be a cool experience. Still didn’t see it happening here it was just a thought.

-Next London, had a great time, but living in another country never crossed my mine, but I def could visit the UK for a month or so.

-Next Miami, this trip was life changing. Something about going out there when it’s snowing up north and its 79 down there was very fascinating. I had the best time out of all the visits, and actually was looking into ways to move down there. Also a good friend from college lives down there, and seeing him living down there all alone, made me think. I talked to him about how he kept in touch and stuff like that, and really saw that as something I could do. That died once I got back and reality set in.

- Then there was San Francisco, I had a great time obviously. I was sitting there at the end of my trip thinking, I really want to live here. I don’t know what it was, but it felt like everything I wanted at this time of my life. I talked to my boss, who lives out there, he said hey come on out, we can find you work, if not; leave us there is plenty of companies out here. I took that to heart. So I started to weigh my thoughts on, if this place was right for me, and if it made sense, and it did on so many levels.

Since I’m getting married in June, I figured I would give my boss sometime to find work. I didn’t want to make any moves before then; also I wanted to see if I still felt that way after coming home and back to my normal life. We talked about it a few times, in the first few weeks after my trip. Out of curiosity, I begin looking at neighborhoods; I could potentially live in. I found a few, but the prices for apts were SKY HIGH. That led me to looking for jobs that are paying enough to afford to live out there. I found three that were ideal, but I didn’t really think I had a chance for. I sent emails, not even resumes, then one asked for resume, and I sent it.

Next day he setup a phone convo. Then he setup another phone convo. Then he wrote me an email saying they really liked me, and that they would let me know in a few days if they want me to fly out for an interview in person. Right now im like WOW, this is all happening way faster than I expected. At this point I told my boss, and he said fly out there, and they will interview you. So I did.

So, I’m really nervous. Not because I’m afraid to get the job, but im thinking that’s A LOT of money to spend on a flight, for a job you may not get! I decided my boss was right, and took the flight out. I refused to tell anyone of this, my parents included. I am grown, and I make my own decisions. I know that they would not understand, and would try to talk me out of it, and possibly talk me out of something I really wanted to do, and I would resent them for that later, same goes with close friends.

Also, I didn’t want the pressure of all my family/friends knowing I was on a flight to Cali, for an interview, and have to deal with it, if I didn’t get the job. Id already be crushed, and retelling it to 20 people would be too much.

So I head to SF. I get there and instantly the nervousness is gone. I feel like it’s exactly where I want to be. And my attitude is I will find a place to stay, and workout so if I don’t get this job, I can at least already know that. And that I did. I go into the interview and me and the guy click and he really likes me, I head back to the east coast and now play the waiting game.

At this point my thoughts are, if I don’t get the job, have a talk with my family/friends about what I plan to do in the next 6 months. If I do get the job, then I have to give the shocking news as is.

I am supposed to hear something on Monday, and I don’t. The guy is not in, and also, SF is 3 hours behind, so I feel like the wait is extra long. Im checking my phone and email every .32 seconds in anticipation. Then I get the news late Tuesday night, I got the job!

I immediately call my parents, convo goes like this.

Me: mom, hey I gotta tell yall some good news, put me one speaker phone

Mom dad: ok what is it !?

Me: When I went to SF last week, it wasn’t for work, it was for an interview, and I got the job!

Mom: Hows that good news!??!

Dad: ….

It took them 5, 10 mins to take it in, then it turned to we are proud of you. At this point I understood my shocking message had a stronger affect than I knew. Emily told her parents we were moving and they were nothing but excited. But once again, different experiences, different views.

Next morning, I let the rest of my world know. Reactions varied from WOW, that’s amazing, to how you gonna just leave like that? I attempted to explain to people, why, and I realized I can’t. People that don’t understand, won’t understand, because they look at life different.

As I said, a year ago, I felt the same way, so I realized I had to dig deeper to figure out how I would explain this to Elliott of last year. And no matter how I would have explained it, it wouldn’t make sense to him.

Life as I see it is about experiencing different things. Family and friends are extremely important, however I don’t think living close to someone makes you more of a friend, or shows love more than being away. If anything, you take for granted that relationship. How many times do you hug the people you see everyday, or every weekend. You eventually fall into a zone where you just expect them to be there, and stop learning about them. People that I don’t see but 3 -4 times a year, are just a strong of friends as people I see everyday. Why is that, I don’t know. The internet probably helps.

I have always wanted to live in a city. I have always wanted to work in a city. In a week me and Emily will be driving across country, so that I can do both.